Do you have the Post-Holiday Blues?
Are New Year’s Resolutions looming over your shoulder like dark shadows?
Are you feeling STUCK?
In this “New Year” I invite you to play a “New Game” to reach your 2015 goals. Let’s face it, we don’t really need a New Year to remind us to stay on track with goals; we know the importance of staying on track. Still the reality is that 45% of people will give up on their resolutions by the end of January and only 8% reach the goals they set by the end of the year. So this year, rather than doing the same thing over and over again, let’s employ some different tools.
What is it that gets lost between intention and completion? Consider that the most common problem we face is follow through. We are committed, we want to succeed, we may even know what the necessary actions are, and still something stands like an invisible barrier between our long-cherished goals and us. It could be fear of failure, it could be fear of success, it could be that we have failed before and the pain was so great we don’t want to endure it again. And what’s even more insidious is that we have a constant reminder of that fear. It shows up as an ongoing tape in our head that says: “you can’t”, “you’re not good enough”, “you’ll get hurt”, “don’t try” etc. It’s an individual tape for every person but the result is the same. We get stuck. I call my tape “my crazy roommate”, because she has a permanent residence in my head.
So, how do you manage this repeating tape?
- First of all you need to build “trust” in yourself. How? By doing what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it. We wouldn’t think of not following through with something we promise to do at work, however, we are our own worst enemies when it comes to keeping our word to ourselves. Try this exercise: take one thing that you put on the back burner last year, like taking a seminar, learning a new language, taking dance lessons etc. Ask yourself is this something I am really committed to doing. If the answer is “yes,” write down one action you can take today to move towards completing it (if the answer is “no” then try it again until you find something you are committed to). Then (and this is critical) take the action, do it, no excuses. Tomorrow write down the next action and take that. Continue until you’ve completed what you set out to do. This may sound simplistic, still it begins to build the muscle of integrity to your word with yourself.
- Ask yourself what do you really want to achieve by Dec. 31st, 2015Write it down. Be specific. Do you want a promotion, a raise, a new job? Look again? How much money? By when? What type of job, by when? Write it down. Look again. Why do you want that job, raise etc. What will it provide? Why do you want it? Write it down. “Why do you want what you want” is a very important question? Let’s look at money as an example. Very few people want money just to have money, money is a piece of paper or a coin. We want what it provides: security; power; influence; vacations; clothes; a nice apartment; dinners out; shoes; college tuition etc. Until we identify specifically what we really want and why we want it there is no way to get it. Nature abhors a vacuum. Unless you are specific and focused other things will show up instead which can sidetrack you. Now write down 1 action to take towards that goal and take it. Keep your word to yourself and continue to take the actions one after another until you reach the goal. Build the muscle of keeping your word to yourself.
- Okay, wait a minute what about that insidious tape that is repeating in your head? You’ll notice that as soon as you know it for what it is and are in action it starts to lose power over you. The reality is it will never go away completely but the object is for you to begin to control it, not have it control you. Also, you might try my trick. When it starts droning away in my head I say “thanks crazy roommate for your opinion, but I am going to do this anyway”. It’s all up to you. You don’t have to have a master plan, you just have to take the first step and then the next and then the next. You can create something new “right now” or the moment passes, you pick.
Here’s to a Brilliant and Powerful Future! “Action has Boldness in it Begin Now”
By Mickey Pantano, Membership Consultant and Life Coach